Cycles.

This is a weird and difficult season for me.
I feel like I’m fighting to keep my head above water.

Things keep happening, going wrong.
Before I can work through and get over one thing, another comes up.
And quite frankly, its a bit overwhelming.

The sudden breakup.
My grandmother’s passing.
Speaking engagement cancelled.
Possibile career change into a full time ministry position dashed.

Everything happened in a whirlwind, and I’m still trying to get my feet back under me.
Just a thought of one sends my mind racing through the gauntlet again as I force back tears and find myself literally gasping for breath.

Though deep down, I know it isn’t true, I feel so lost and forgotten.
And all I can do is wonder, how long?

How long, O Lord?  Will you forget me forever?
   How long will you hide your face from me?
How long must I take counsel in my soul
   and have sorrow in my heart all the day?
How long shall my enemy be exalted over me?

Consider and answer me, O Lord my God;
   light up my eyes, lest I sleep the sleep of death,
lest my enemy say, “I have prevailed over him,”
   lest my foes rejoice because I am shaken.

But I trust in your unfailing love;
   my heart rejoices in your salvation.
I will sing to the Lord,
   for he has been good to me.                         
– Psalm 13

” How long will this season last?” is a viable question.
To ask whether God has forgotten me or not is preposterous!
Of course He hasn’t!

Consider it pure joy when you meet trials of many kinds.  – James 1:2

That word – when – is a solid implication from Scripture that we will face hard times.
We don’t get to choose that.
But we do get to choose how we respond.

When life is hard and you’re not quite sure how you’re going to make it through the day… rejoice in His rescue!
When everything around you seems to be falling apart… sing to Him because He is good!
His love is unfailing.

That doesn’t necessarily take all the pain away, and it certainly isn’t a quick fix.
God doesn’t seem to be into the instant gratification mindset of our generation.
But it does help to keep things in proper perspective.
Seriously, if Job was able to worship the Lord after all he’d lost, what is there to stop me?

This is not the end.
This is another beginning.
A chance to refocus priorities.
A chance to relearn what it means to truly live.
A chance to rediscover love.

Undoubtedly, there will be other times like these once I get through this.
Undoubtedly, I will make mistakes again.
I will risk more than I should, and it will burn me.
And I’ll find myself at this same point of rediscovery.

It’s times like these you learn to live again
It’s times like these you give and give again
It’s times like these you learn to love again
It’s times like these time and time again            
  – Foo Fighters, Times Like These

Peace and love.

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4 thoughts on “Cycles.

  1. This is a great post, Kyle! I think you’ve hit so much right on–but have you ever read Pete Wilson’s Plan B? I love that you are willing to keep going and risk everything knowing that Christ has your back. All will be good in God’s time! 🙂

  2. The refining process is intense, but the outcome is remarkable. Keep your eyes on the prize, because our best life is later when we will be together with our Savior.

  3. Thought about your situation all day today and God has continually brought the story of David to my mind. I can’t imagine being anointed as the next king and then having to run for my life from the current king who was my close friend and mentor. Then David had multiple opportunities to take matters in his own hands and get rid of Saul. David wisely chose to let God fight for him. I think we also need to be wise and not try to take thing into our own hands and make the future happen. I have been struggling with some future decisions, and I am very tempted to do this. I pray that we will both be strong and rely on God to unveil what He has for us!

    PS – Keep the Foo Fighters comin’

  4. Does this sound familiar?

    Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you’ll recover your life. I’ll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me — watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won’t lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you’ll learn to live freely and lightly.

    My friend, it sounds like you’re learning the unforced rhythms of grace in new, deep and difficult ways.

    Though it’s difficult in the process, here’s to living freely and lightly.

    I value your friendship deeply.
    JD

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