I stumbled across this recently in one of my old blogs.
The date is from August 2007, but it applies today just as well.
Over the past three years, I’ve changed a lot.
But some things haven’t changed at all…
I still have conversations, look at my relationships, and question.
What have I missed?
What could I have done, or be doing, differently?
What is God waiting on?
I’m not good at being single.
And since I’m no longer in college, I don’t really have a great means of meeting new people.
And I’m not really as bold as I’d like to walk up to a stranger to strike up conversation.
The following words are not my own, yet I feel them in a very personal way.
I feel as though I can’t really express how I feel in my own words tonight.
I don’t really know why this, why now.
But the past couple of days have been harder than most.
The following are excerpts from Perspectives: A Spiritual Life Guide for Twentysomethings:
I believe God fulfills the desires of our hearts: “Delight yourself also in the Lord; and he shall give you the desires of your heart” (Ps 37:4)…
In college, I never “officially” dated a colleague, but we spent a good deal of time together cultivating a friendship over the school year. After a few months, she ended up going back to her high school sweetheart for whom the torch had never faded. Yes, I have the innate ability to drive people to marriage. I am always the last person they date…before they get engaged…As you can imagine, it is a source of amusement for many of my friends.
At times it is difficult to understand why some are blessed with a spouse while others are not.
Often one begins to question:
What is wrong with me?
Am I not devoted enough to God for Him to bless me?
Am I not pretty enough?
Am I not smart enough?
What is wrong with me?
Some days are definitely more challenging than others, but your trust must remain in the ultimate gift-giver.
Do you believe God’s promises?
Is He perfect?
Is He infallible?
Do you truly believe “he knows the plans [he has] for you?” (Jer 29:11)
We think we know what is best for us, but God knows our needs, our wants, and our heart’s desires because He “is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us.” (Eph 3:20). Waiting at times is difficult, but we need to be faithful as He is faithful to us. In his book, Fresh Faith, Jim Cymbala said, “The hardest part of faith is often simply to wait. And the trouble is, if we don’t, then we start to fix the problem ourselves — and that makes it worse. We complicate the situation to the point where it takes God much longer to fix it than if we had quietly waited for His working in the first place.
Singleness is a trying time for many, but I cling to the idea that God is sovereign.
The following poem (author unknown) always evokes a tremendous response…and speaks to my heart on the notion of waiting on God.
Desperately, helplessly, longingly, I cried:
Quietly, patiently, lovingly, God replied.
I pled and wept for a clue to my fate,
And the Master so gently said, “Child, you must wait.”
“Wait? You say, Wait!” my indignant reply.
“Lord, I need answers, I need to know why!
Is your hand shortened? Or have you not heard?
By faith, I have asked, and am claiming your Word.
My future and all to which I can relate
Hangs in the balance, and YOU tell me to WAIT?
I’m needing a ‘yes,’ a go-ahead sign,
Or even a ‘no’ to which I can resign.
And Lord, You promised that if we believe
We need but to ask, and we shall receive.
And Lord, I’ve been asking, and this is my cry:
I’m weary of asking! I need a reply!”
Then quietly, softly, I learned of my fate
As my Master replied once again, “You must wait.”
So, I slumped in my chair, defeated and taut
And grumbled to God, “So, I’m waiting…for what?”
He seemed, then, to kneel, and His eyes wept with mine,
And He tenderly said, “I could give you a sign.
I could shake the heavens, and darken the sun.
I could raise the dead, and cause mountains to run.
All you seek, I could give, and pleased you would be.
You would have what you want — But you wouldn’t know Me.
You’d not know the depth of My love for each saint;
You’d not know the power that I give to the faint;
You’d not learn to see through the clouds of despair;
You’d not learn to trust just by knowing I’m there;
You’d not know the joy of resting in Me
When darkness and silence were all you could see.
You’d never experience that fullness of love
As the peace of My spirit descends like a dove;
You’d know that I give and I save…(for a start),
But you’d not know the depth of the beat of My heart.
The glow of my comfort late into the night,
The faith that I give when you walk without sight,
The depth that’s beyond getting just what you asked
Of an infinite God, who makes what you have last.
You’d never know, should your pain quickly flee,
What it means that ‘My grace is sufficient for thee.’
Yes, your dreams for your loved one overnight would come true,
But, oh, the loss! If I lost what I’m doing in you!
So, be silent, My child, and in time you will see
That the greatest of gifts is to get to know Me.
And though oft’ may My answers seem terribly late,
My most precious answer of all is still, “Wait.”
Why is waiting so difficult?
Peace and love.