So I’ve been doing a lot of thinking lately.
You have time for more of that when you’re on your own.
And my thoughts have primarily been on who I’m becoming.
The kind of man I am turning into.
Now, I know I still have a lot to learn.
And I can still mature a great deal from where I am now.
But here is the view from where I’m standing…
Its hard being alone.
And I know this is something God has been dealing with me about.
That I am too quick to identify myself by whether I’m in a relationship or not.
Though I know His grace is sufficient, I often try to add to it.
God’s grace and what I’m doing to serve.
God’s grace and how I live my life before others.
God’s grace and that I’m in a solid relationship with a godly woman.
I preach, no I scream, about living in His light and grace.
But then I find myself wanting more than Him.
Don’t get me wrong, I believe the things I am seeking are fine.
But should not be where my priorities lie.
But this I know.
That He knows what the future holds.
That He knows the needs in my life.
That He knows the passions of my heart.
And that He provides through it all as is best for me.
Where it gets a little gray is that the best is not always the easiest.
As Christians, we tend to take the path of least resistance.
We cruise down the interstates of life, when God has called us to, and said it is better to take the dirt roads.
We use scriptures of encouragement like Phillipians 4:13.
All things are possible through Christ who gives me strength.
But it does not say all things are easy.
Nor does it really say where this strength is.
Paul wrote in his second letter to the Corinthians that it is in our weaknesses we are made strong in Him.
That His grace is sufficient.
Many of you who know me know I am a passionate guy.
But my problem has always been that I’m vocally passionate in private conversations.
I’m not as bold as I would like.
Slowly He is changing that about me.
I’m too concerned with pleasing other people.
(God’s grace and that others like and accept me?)
But that isn’t Biblical, either.
Jesus said to remember when the world hates us that it hated Him first.
Sometimes I honestly wonder what the difference is between the “church” and the world?
So now where do I turn my focus?
What kind of man am I to become?