Nothing Movielike
It has been quite an eventful few months.
I could apologize for having not written in a while…but, I’m not sorry.
It has been really nice for the people that are in my life to be the only ones in my life.
Yes, I know, I tweet a lot…but there is only so deep you can really go in 140 characters or less.
Granted, I did love the recognition and title of “blogger” that I once proudly carried.
But I am so much more than just that…I think…but for a while, that was fading into the background for me.
One Word.
What a year for a new year, right?
So much happened in 2010, that it really seems unreal to look back on.
I had the opportunity to spend a weekend working side by side with one of my favorite authors.
I had an incredible two-month romance that ended in a flurry of self realizations.
I had the difficult honor of speaking at my grandmother’s funeral.
I climbed a mountain. Almost.
So, what is to come of 2011? What are my resolutions?
I don’t have any.
I’ve decided that this year, I’m joining the OneWord2011 community.
No resolution.
No promises.
Just ONE word to define my year.
I spend so much of my time as a perimeter player, watching others go and do.
Not taking the risks I should to have a grander life.
Always looking for what is safe and convenient.
Oddly enough, those things aren’t why I chose my word.
A lady I serve with at church gave me a 2011 Daily Bread Dayplanner.
With daily scripture readings from the Old Testament, New Testament, and the Psalms.
My word comes from that.
In Genesis 5, while Moses writes the lineage of Adam, he marks their lives by following an interesting formula.
When [insert name] had lived [number] he fathered [insert name].
To anyone who knows me, it is no secret what I want.
I want to find a godly woman, get married, settle down, start a family.
No secrets there.
And there is nothing wrong with that, except for my viewpoint of it.
That, to me, is the end-all, be-all of life.
But it isn’t.
There is life to be lived in the here and now.
Right now.
That is my word: Live.
I want to be able to enjoy life in 2011.
If I meet her in the midst of some great adventure, so be it.
If I don’t, I want to be able to be okay with that.
I just want to live with a purpose.
I just want to live without fear.
Peace and Live.
Identity.
I haven’t had much to say lately.
So, I’ve let the weeds grow up around this space on the web.
Cobwebs are hanging.
Windows are busted.
A good dusting could be in order.
Like any other haunted house at the beginning of November.
It’s not that I haven’t wanted to write more.
I have.
But for some reason, words don’t seem to come as easily as a few months ago. Read more…
Climb.
I really can’t believe this is happening.
In fact, I’m pretty sure I don’t even want to post this.
It’s not so much that I’m ashamed, as I am embarrassed.
I am stunned that such a thought could even enter my mind.
But it did.
Let me give a little background…
I’m a music guy.
Not so much playing it as listening to it.
Maybe even analyzing it a but.
I love it.
And so often music speaks so clearly into my life.
But this song…really?
Let’s go back and see how this could have taken shape…
Finishing.
I feel like I’ve been neglecting the blog for a couple months now.
I’ve started several posts about different things, but the priority to finish those hasn’t been incredibly high.
I can always go back to wrap them up, and eventually, I will.
The reality is that I needed to step away for a few weeks and let my thoughts be my own.
I was getting to a point where my identity was starting to be wrapped up in being a blogger.
Having a lot of views one month, being invited to join a group of bloggers passionate about men’s discipleship the next…
It is really easy for attention like that to go to the head of someone who has been in such a desperate search for his life to be significant to others.
I didn’t want to let that happen.
So, I backed off.
And booked a flight to Colorado.
